Can Kids Really Do Chores?

Sometimes when I talk to parents about the value of chores, the muscles in their faces seem to tense up and maybe even a wrinkle finds its way through their foreheads. This is usually due to and followed by an explanation of the ages of their children, the crazy school + extra-curricular schedule they are attempting to keep and various other reasons why chores are just kind of.... unrealistic for their family. Hmm. Are they unrealistic..... really? Or is the thought of making your kids do chores just intimidating? Maybe parents just flat out don't believe that a little kid is capable of actual productivity. Maybe mom or dad would rather just do it themselves than take the time and effort to teach it, expect it and then hold Jr. accountable for it. Are they just a hassle? Is it that we've picked our battles and chores is just NOT going to be one of them?  Maybe its a little of each.

Well, for fear of getting up on my soap box about kids and chores... I'm just going to.... well.... never mind. I'm getting up on my soap box right now:

KIDS NEED TO DO CHORES. Yes, I said NEED. Reasons why:

1. Chores teach kids they are needed in the family unit. (We do our part, mortgage, cooking, shopping, etc. Kids do their part... dishes, fold laundry, sweep, lawn, etc. We need each other.)

2. Chores teach responsibility. (If you can get it out, you can put it away.)

3. Chores teach work ethic. (The only cure for laziness is hard work.)

4. Chores teach priorities. (Work hard, play hard! In that order.)

5. Chores prepare kids for the 'Real World'. (Unless the children have a trust fund and a full staff, they will eventually have to wash a dish, pick up after themselves, and clean...something. And if they have an aversion to such activities? Good luck to their future spouses and employers.)

I could go on and on and on about how many kids have no idea how to survive as adults these days, because everything was done for them. Or about how more and more places are raising the employment age requirement because they don't want to babysit 14 or even 15 year olds anymore. I mean, have you been to McDonald's lately? Have you seen the deer-in-the-headlights look on that poor child's face when you place your order or he has to count your change? It's just sad. But at least those kids have jobs! What's even more sad are the number of kids who not only do not have to do chores at home, but they don't even have to get a job! "Good grades are their job," parents say. Okay, I get that. A good academic resume leads to a good college education which leads to a good career which leads to success. In theory. What if that is all there, ON PAPER, but as it turns out, he just doesn't have the grit to go and USE all of that?! In fact, what if he doesn't even have the grit to make it through college? "He just wasn't ready for the real world." (And it was college-not even a job and an apartment and bills!) I have heard so many sad stories like that.

Studies have shown us that it isn't good grades that best equip young people for the real world, it's household CHORES. It is a good old fashioned work ethic that kids today are lacking. Think about it in terms of your own life. Did you acquire your work ethic in school doing homework or from summer jobs/working around your house/paying your own way through college, etc? I'm not advocating replacing one with the other. I am challenging you to put chores on AT LEAST the same priority level as homework. And watch your kids amaze you.

Today, while I am working from home, I share my 'office space' with five stinkers, as I affectionately call them. We all had work to do today.  I started the day of with our homemade chore list and the kids got to work and so did I. At some point today I thought to myself: What better way to break through the barriers that are keeping parents from assigning chores than to show them what their little love bugs are capable of? So I decided to show you what MY love bugs did today, while I happily typed this, made phone calls and coached others to success.

Before you see our chore list for today, there's a few things you should know. Some of the chores were chosen by the kids and some were assigned. Some were suggested by very HELPFUL kids as I sat and made the list. I told the kids they had until dinner time to do the chores, but that I do not want to hear the TV until all the chores were done. I told them that I would go check up on their handy work when my work day was over, before I begin dinner. I also told them that during the making-phone-calls portion of my day, (right after they were done eating and cleaning up lunch) I needed absolute quiet, so they could be upstairs or outside. Another very important detail to note before seeing the chore list... their ages:

Maci: 13 years old
Isaac: 12 years old
Ella:    9 years old
Eli:      8 years old
Ava:    6 years old

MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL to note: I am NOT posting this to brag. There are many many families where the children do chores and kids work hard and parents are much more on top of things than me. Our family is still a work in progress but I love to share what IS working for us and see other families growing with us. I am posting this to EMPOWER. To shatter myths. To impact this culture. To take some of the wrinkle out of the foreheads of parents so that American kids can be amazing again, instead of cliche' or something even worse: a mockery.

In this day and age, there are fewer and fewer farm families. I barely even know people with vegetable gardens anymore. Our kids no longer have organic opportunities for some good physical work. Add to that all of the conveniences of modern technology and you've got a whole generation of kids that, without some DELIBERATE INTERVENTION, will not have the practice working hard that they will need to be successful in life.Okay, I'm done with my rant.

So here it is.... And as with any piece of paper left out in our house for more than an hour, there are already doodle marks on it. The small print at the top of page one is Maci saying, "Maci has 3 more chores." and Isaac saying, "No, Isaac has the same." Kids are so funny.

Now- to answer some common questions: "Did they really do all of that?" Well, I have not inspected as of yet, but as I type, two little secretaries are going around the house with the clipboard finding out why some of the boxes are not yet checked and doing some inspecting of their own. Kids that have chores done before dinner time, will be invited to my dinner table. The alternative: finish your chores while we enjoy mom's AMAZING dinner (leftovers) and make a PB&J when you're done. :-( So sad, but we support your decision to procrastinate.  :-)

Next question: "How well can a bunch of kids do all of that work?" Answer: Pretty darn well! Even better with practice! My question to you: Would you rather have a lot of work done almost as well as you would do it, or NOT DONE AT ALL? You can decide. (We love to give choices around here.)

OH! I can't believe I almost forgot the very best reason to give chores! Reason #6 .........  CHORES BUILD SELF ESTEEM. What? How? I know, it sounds far-reached. But stick with me. I will keep it short and sweet. High self-esteem comes from a feeling of accomplishment. Period. Not from people telling you all day how great you are. People feel the best about themselves when they set out to do something, give it all they've got, and do it! Give your kids something to accomplish. A job well-done. The feeling at the end of the day when you worked hard and you can look at the results. Kids, like adults, believe they are capable of big things when they've DONE big things. Not when someone just tells them they can do big things. Give your kids the gift of a great self esteem. Give them the gift of accomplishment. Give them chores.  :-)