I've been immersed in Leadership Training lately. Books, Cd's, articles, etc. I am inspired. And leaders aren't satisfied just to be inspired themselves, they must inspire others. Especially their own teams! So I get this idea to go out for dinner with the family and call it our "Monthly Team Building Dinner." I was so excited. I just knew that this was the start of a spark which could be fanned into a flame. I am, after all, a perpetual visionary. (But my visions don't always play out in reality like they do in my head... go figure. But, I digress.)
So here we are, Scott and I and a bunch of kids, 14 and under, munching our Mexican food as I announce my agenda. Let's just say, no one did a cartwheel. A couple of kids said,
"A what?"
"A TEAM BUILDING DINNER." (Note to self: You don't actually have to announce what it is to accomplish its purpose.) I begin to talk to them about my feelings about the team and how I would love to hear what each one of them thinks of the team and what would make it even better.
"What team?"
"Yeah, Mom, what team?"
Deep breath.
"Our family, kids. I'm talking about the Krueger Family." (Big smile.)
"Oh." Munch munch.
Alright, I've worked with tougher crowds than this one, I reasoned. I can handle this. I just keep moving along with the same amount of excitement and energy partially wondering if this will go down in our family history as a total FAIL. (Even a FAIL in our family isn't a total fail if it provides laughter later! Because Tragedy + Time = Comedy in this house.)
I begin to build up the team and tell them that I think we have some great things going on. We are a loving family, we work hard, we laugh, we play and so on. I speak of how we need each other... how everyone on a team is needed to make the team work. Then I begin to ask some questions.
"So, Lucy, (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent) what are some things you think we could do different or better to be an even BETTER team? A better family?
Silence....................
"Lucy?"
....................
"Ah, Lucy.... did you hear me?"
Blank stare.
"Oh. Are you talking to me?"
"Ah, Yes."
"What did you say? I didn't hear you."
I'm trying to stay calm now, because Lucy had a 'silent attitude' going since we left the house. Not that I prefer the loud attitudes more, I don't. It's just that I'm pretty sure with how silent she was being, she could hear what the people out in the parking lot were saying.
"What are some things we could do different or better to be an even BETTER family?"
"I don't know........... Be nice to each other?"
"Okay, what do you guys think of that?"
"Mom, can I have a quarter?"
"No, not right now."
At this point, I thought of countless leaders who were highly motivated for progress, growth and success and like me, their enthusiasm was met with..... boredom.
And am I glad I did.
Sometimes a little extra patience pays off.
My kiddos surprised me. And challenged me. Kids are, first of all, HONEST. If you need to take your leadership temperature, so to speak, ask your kids. Secondly, they are very insightful. Not a lot gets past them relationally.
Here is a list of things that my "Team" came up with to make us a better family:
- be nicer to each other
- get along better
- don't fight with each other
- work together side by side
- everyone take care of their own stuff
- care for each other more
- love each other better
- spend more time together as a family
- trust each other
And this last one, my husband threw in. (It's his secret to staying sane with 11 step-children):
- keep a good sense of humor
Then I asked them this: "Kids, what makes a team really stick together?" They all agreed.....
"Love and Trust."
I found myself wanting to rise to the occasion....To love more, to demonstrate more trustworthiness.... To show that I care with actions, not just think about how much I care....To model the things that they said would make us better.
Because I want to be better.
I want my family to be better.
Wait a minute. Now...
Who's leading who?
